I think about you far more than I should. We were nothing, or we were supposed to be nothing. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for you. Lust; that was all that was to occur. But there was something more there, for me at least. For you too, as far as anyone could tell. Moments we spent together were forever happy. A smile was immediately plastered on my face the moment I saw you, no matter how upset or confused you made me just hours before. We don’t talk now, as I had said we wouldn’t. We’re no longer friends and I try to be okay with that. I have no idea of your reasoning behind shutting me out of your life, so I’m left with only speculation. I think too much already so this is really all I think about every night before I go to sleep. I did nothing to deserve this. I never did anything to provoke the mind games that plagued our “relationship.” I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re just afraid, and taking the easy way out. But that hardly seems like you, and you said yourself I know you too well. Let’s face it, we both prefer a relationship that’s simple, we don’t have to do anything, don’t have to work at it, just sit there and enjoy the ride. We would be messy, and already have experienced just how dysfunctional we are together. You want a somewhat simple minded girl who does anything you tell her, and quite frankly: kisses your ass on a daily basis. I will never be that girl. I argue. I have a mind of my own. I will never take orders from anyone who seeks to have a relationship with me. I am a woman of higher intelligence, which is established as superior to even yours.

This was an old, never posted draft I just found. I no longer feel this way and am in a very happy, very healthy relationship with someone I believe I will spend the rest of my life with. I just wanted to put this on here because I still like the way it sounds and I miss writing from the heart like this.

Waking up this morning early enough to see the sunrise and watching it set this evening makes me feel extremely connected to the Earth. Everyone should slow down once in a while and notice the beauty that surrounds us.